The morning of our 3rd anniversary, I woke up early with an excitement in my heart. Paul had surprised me the night before by taking me to a fancy hotel in downtown Indianapolis. The sun was starting to peak through the curtains as I got up to start the day. I was supposed to take a pregnancy test that morning to confirm I wasn't pregnant in order to start our first round of fertility treatment after having surgery. As always, I was hopeful, but trying to prepare myself for the familiar disappointment I had felt after so many negative pregnancy tests. I tried to logically explain to myself that there was no way I was pregnant, so just take the test and get it over with. So you can imagine my total shock when I looked and almost immediately a second line appeared! In absolute disbelief I checked the instructions on the box a million times (because you can obviously pee on a stick incorrectly). The second line kept getting darker and darker and I honestly could not believe my eyes. I stood over the sink and giggled and wept all at the same time. Is this real?! How is this possible?! With my heart beating out of my chest, I crawled back into our big king sized bed and snuggled up next to Paul. He turned over with sleepy eyes and smiled softly at me. I whispered to him, "Are you ready to be a daddy?" His sleepy eyes shot wide open and quickly turned into laughter and praising God for this unbelievable blessing. We both sat there and cried and laughed in awe and wonder of this miracle. We took this photo that same morning. We could not believe there was really a baby in there! OUR BABY!!
The first time seeing our baby was surreal. I have had hundreds of ultrasounds in my life and to finally see a baby was something I could have never prepared my heart for. Who knew a little peanut could mean so much! And then to hear the heartbeat! Oh my goodness! In that moment, it all became so real. I was crying, Paul was crying... the nurse didn't cry, but I am sure if she knew our story she would have too!
Looking back on the past few months, I am just in awe of the Lord's faithfulness. I am so humbled that even when I was absolutely faithless, He remained faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). What a sweet and kind Father He is. Not only did He allow me to get pregnant, He made it happen without any fertility medications! Then He perfects the timing to where we are able to find out the morning of our 3rd anniversary. He didn't have to do that, but He did because He is a kind Father. He cares about the little details in our lives. He is so intimately involved in our lives even when we do not recognize it.
I am blown away by the thought that the Father already knows this little baby in my belly. He knows if it is a boy or girl, what their name will be, and has every day of their life already planned out. I cannot help but cry because I am so overwhelmed with honor that the Lord has allowed us to be this baby's parents. After all the pain, the tears and the heartache, He is allowing me to be a mommy. (I am really glad this isn't a live video because I am bawling like a baby right now!)
Thank you so much to every person that purchased a necklace, sent messages, and prayed for Paul and I through this season. The encouragement has meant more than I could ever express. The unforeseen cost of surgery was nearly covered by your purchases of necklaces! The Lord knew and He made a way. I am so thankful for the body of Christ that has come around us to help us through this time!
Now we wait until late July to hold in our hands this promise fulfilled! "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!" Psalm 127:3-5
Thank you to my sweet cousin, Ashley Czyzewski, for the beautiful pictures!